No really. Some South African Christians (although I’m sure there are Muslims and the like who agree too) are banding together to tackle one of the world’s most serious problems. They’re going to be meeting, discussing, praying and fasting to try and deal with this threat to God’s Kingdom. No, I’m not talking about famine, war or pestilence. I’m talking about the fourth horseman of the apocalypse: Lady Gaga.
Now I have nothing against religion. I think it’s a successful system of governance that’s kept a lot of people from eating, murdering and fucking their way into oblivion for centuries. I also have a lot of respect for anyone who can maintain faith in a God in the face of a world that alternately calls them crazy or laughs in their faces. Let’s face it. People spent centuries doing that to scientists, too, and if I believe in what science has proven I can get behind believing in a conceptual deity. What bugs me, however, is when that dedication to a deity spills over into awkward (sometimes violent or simply vitriolic) misunderstandings and pointless arguments that go nowhere and achieve very little.
Depending on your ability to use Facebook, you may have encountered either the “South Africa: No to Lady Gaga and satanists” fanpage (167 fans at the time of my writing) or the “Christians against Lady Gaga & Beyonce’s SA tours” group (seriously, guys, who uses groups anymore? – 2,247 members now, apparently). While the fanpage seems to be mainly trading in the sort of vitriolic, vague and obviously subjective Biblical study reserved for the masses of ancient Rome, the group has, at least, managed to unite a large group of people under one banner and even get them a venue to meet in.
According to one user, the group has secured a church space to ”[talk] strategy as to how [they] are going to go about with our Campaign. Albeit marches, petitions etc.” The poor use of the word “albeit” and completely illogical suggestion that they should march or petition, I dunno, Big Concerts aside, I admire their tenacity and them taking time out of their busy weekends to really work at this project of theirs. They even plan to elect a committee!
Look, I can see what they’re worried about. I’m worried about the “false idolatry” that goes on when people turn on their TVs at dinner, ignoring their screaming children to see what Meredith Grey or Kim Kardashian is up to, too. Human beings are weird creatures that spend their time mutilating their bodies and self-destructing so they can look like models, fuck like porn stars and do drugs like Keith Richards. We’re weird and fucked up like that! But at the same time, 20 minutes of research online will show you that it’s not Lady Gaga’s fault the world is like that, and she’s hardly aiming to keep the system chugging along in the same way it always has.
What irks me about this particular situation is that, yet again, a religion that preaches tolerance and acceptance is being used by people (remember, guys, it’s not Jesus’ fault) to perpetuate a system of intolerance and discrimination. Throw in the fact that these people could be using all this energy, the community that the internet (something I’m sure they decry as Satanistic when it suits them) has provided for them and their venue and committee to actually make a real difference in the world, and I just can’t abide by shit like this. I mean, really guys? You could be doing serious community work together. You could be building houses for the poor or fitting solar geysers into informal settlements or even just meeting up to hang out, drink coffee and find one another. You could be using all the energy you’re spending on hating to foster a stronger sense of peace and love and tolerance, but instead you’re gunning for pop music like it’s the late 70s and you’re motherfucking M.A.T.M.O.K.
You wanna fight Satan? Hug an orphaned baby with HIV. Pull yourselves together!