People got problems, yo. Well, here at Another-Day, we’re all about solutions. That’s why we searched the whole internet (that’s a lot of porn, folks) to track down two experts in the fields of life and love. Prepare to meet the two men who will save your life, your love affairs, and your love life affairs…
Our very first entry comes from “Unlucky Leb”:
Dear Another-Day,
When I was overseas a few years ago, I met this guy (also from SA) who I started dating there even though he was much much older than me. Now that we’re back in Joburg and have been dating for a few years, and I’ve grown up, I keep thinking he may not be the guy for me. He is much older than me but very sweet and I don’t want to hurt him or accidentally lose the guy of my dreams.
He’s 28. I’m 19. Am I throwing away a mature, nice guy to go find out how awful all the guys my own age are?
Please help!
-Unlucky Leb-
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Dear Unlucky,
Let me start at the end… Dump this pedophile and carry on with your youth.
One of Einstein’s last equations was in his work called ‘The Theory of Age Relativity’. Bear with me here, this is something I live by. Basically all men should apply this equation to girls they meet in order to assess if they are of the right age. A man must take his current age, divide it by two and add seven. This amount and above is the age of girls this man is allowed to date without disrupting the ’love space time continuum’ and to avoid going to jail. So if we apply
this to your case: 28 divided by 2 equals 14, plus 7 equals 21… Well this is awkward!?
No point in flogging a dead horse, I think I’ve explained enough here. Move on with your life.
Young love is a beautiful thing but it doesn’t mean much. You were overseas. Everything seems romantic when you are overseas. Now that you are back home I sense that reality has kicked in and you should trust in your ‘basic instincts’.
Dr. Love ‘n Stuff
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Dear Unlucky,
First off, what kind kind of dickless turd-pusher picks up a 17-yr-old girl (I’m conservatively assuming since you’ve been dating a couple years and you are 19-yrs-old now) whilst overseas, where the world is his oyster. Let alone one he drags back with him to SA into a long-term relationship.
I bet his name’s Sheldon, he wears “Transitions” sunglasses, collects ninja stars and spends more time on an X-Box than on you.
My god, you are going to make a man’s life misery one day.
At 19 you are writing into “qualified strangers” on a blog asking what to do with your current love life. How fucking spineless can you be? I can tell you should just pull the plug.
Why do you think you have to resort to dating people your own age? There’s just as many other demographics for you to tap up. I’d say dump your 28-yr-old fella and go experience the misery of boys your own age. You most certainly deserve it.
I’d prefer you just started collecting cats now.
One more thing, congrats on signing off with a racial slur.
Dr. Matt “Honky-Ass cracker” Thornton
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If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can stomach brutal honesty, email your issue to [email protected] and get your life solved.